I believe I have all told that I am not allowed to say anything to my mom about her oxygen. I can't ask her if she has enough no matter how many signs that she has that it is too low. It is one of the agreements that we made. Today as I saw my mom in the kitchen take off her oxygen as my brother and I were leaving, I knew I couldn't say anything. I turned to my brother and said by the time we get back mom is either going to be in real trouble or dead and I am not allowed to say anything about the oxygen. We went straight to get the food from the caterers and went right back.
Mom wasn't I the kitchen when we walked in so I went looking for her. Mom was in her room and her face was chalk white. The first thing mom said to me is that she was in real trouble that her oxygen was at 54!!!! Oh my gosh!!! I had to get her holding still with the oxygen going strong!!!! It took quite a while to get her oxygen up!!! She scares me so much!!! Because I was so worried she was going to die on me I yelled at her. I told her I was very angry with her because I didn't want her to die!!! We had the party and mom held still mostly in the chair. The alarm went off on her oxygen while she was sitting there and she asked me what was happening. I told her that when it does that it means she isn't breathing through her nose and she is getting no oxygen!!!! I think this is almost as hard on me as it is on her. We did have a wonderful party with many of the family there. I was so glad that we had as many people as we did. I wish Aunt Joyce had felt better and had come!!! There is no getting around it my family is loud and we have fun and can be full of pep and vinegar! We lost a couple of presents and had the search go on until we found them!!! Lol Joyce and Jayce easy to mix up!!! The little ones loved chasing Chris around the house!!! What fun they had. We all love each other and want the best for each other and just like all families sometimes we fight and annoy each other!!! I didn't check mom's oxygen after everyone left because I knew if it was low I would be upset! That is Kent's job tonight!!! And a wonderful thank you to Jen, Dave, Kent, Bryan, and Megan for doing most of the clean up!!!! My heart is filled with love and I am determined to keep mom alive!!!
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I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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