A lot of good things are happening in my life right now. There are a lot of changes happening in my life and when you have anxiety like I do, change, even good change is hard! I have been having a lot of anxiety even though the changes are good, some in the long run and some right now. I have had med changes lately and I even got to get off some of my meds! Hallelujah! This is also the infamous year of 2020 that is causing a lot of anxiety for everyone!
In therapy today we went back over how Anxiety isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is the way my body communicates to me that it isn't feeling safe with the changes. Who knew that bodies have a mind of their own!!! Not me!!! (Silly of me not to know, when I knew all about muscle memory and taught my students to use muscle memory as a skill!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!) Today as I talked in therapy I realized that I am okay with having anxiety. I have had it all my life, it is a part of me. Everyone is having a lot of anxiety during this time. I have a new Motto: Anxiety is okay to have it is a part of life;I just need to manage it so it doesn't keep me from my life! (Therapy is awesome!!! T-Shirt therapy is definitely awesome!!!) And I am still keeping my other motto... Tomorrow is another day! I am going to pay attention to my body, do my deep breathing, and talk to my body and let it know it is safe, I chose these changes, they are good changes, keep talking to my body! Keep praying for Jesus to help me find the tools I need to reaffirm to my body that it is safe! Remind my body that all the surgeries and medicines are to help my body to continue to be safe! T-Shirt Therapy - What I say to my body!!! LOL
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Yesterday was a pretty good day! We went for a motorbike ride (Miracles never cease I finally was able to get my helmut on and off all by myself! LOL) and had 2 person church in a park.I love having church outside! (Even if it is 100 degrees or more!) After the bike ride we cooked together and made chicken enchiladas! They are one of my favorite things I make!!! After this great day we still needed a travel fix! Since we can't travel right now, actually walks and motorcycle rides are the only traveling that is happening, so we have to get our fix through the TV! Ugh! Right now I am getting my travel fix through a show called Race Around the World! I absolutely love it! I envy all those who have campers currently! Like my sister that gets to travel and vacation on the weekends quite frequently!!!
T-Shirt therapy!!! I started to write my blog yesterday and never finished it. Here is what I wrote... So many changes are taking place in my life right now some are yuck and some are really good! The selling of my house has turned out to be a good thing. The stress of the maintenance of the home and yard when I wasn't living there was extremely high and now the worry is gone. I had some equity in my home and that has worked out nicely. I am in the process of getting my forever home and am really excited about it. Even though this 2020 year has brought crazy challenges we are navigating through it and I am finding that the beauty of the world right here around me is amazing! I read a short little article about Rick Steves (the travel guru) and how he is loving rediscovering the beauty of Edmonds, Wa where he lives. Well I am rediscovering the beauty of the Salt Lake Valley and the canyons that are on either side of me. God has made a beautiful world. And I had a 2 person church service up the canyon in the beauty. Oh yeah! I was feeling pretty angelic yesterday! Not so much today! Today I need to laugh at the unbelievable twilight zone that is 2020! So I am sticking with funny 2020 memes today! Tomorrow I will try for angelic again! Lately the temperature has been in the low 100s and 90s, and this is not the time to have your air conditioning quit working! (And it is all my fault!) Mom and I became so hot that, as mom puts it, we were hallucinating! This is gross, but we were total sweat balls!!! We had no energy!!! And were even a little emotional! I thought that the air conditioning just wasn't keeping up with the heat outside. I worried we would have to buy a new air conditioner!!! (No more expensive malfunctioning!) Mom called my brother about the air conditioning and he said that the thermostat will tell us what is wrong with the air conditioning. I went over to the thermostat to see what was wrong and I thought there was something flashing. I wasn't sure. I was wearing my new glasses so I should be able to see... Right?!?!? I went to go get the magnifying glass to see what was flashing. I was then frustrated with the thermostat for having the word flash! If it would just hold still maybe I could see it! Mom, Brett and John all decided it needed a new filter without even seeing the flashing word (that I couldn't read!). I went downstairs and got the filter out and it was black! So GROSS!!! Just taking care of the filter did not help with the problem. John came over and said there was probably an ice dam on the coils that was preventing the air conditioning from working... Sure enough there was! We had to go without air conditioning until it melted! Melting the ice dam only took a few hours but it felt like eternity!!! The air conditioning is now working and what does mom say to me??? I am cold!!! Summer in Utah! What can I say.... We just can't win! LOL
T-shirt Therapy! My house is sold... All the papers signed while I wore my mask and gloves! I have to keep my momma safe from covid! My daughter has moved to Logan and is all moved in. My son has moved to North Salt Lake and is all moved in! He is looking for room mates and that is all being done virtually!! Wow! I still manage to have a few dates through zoom, facetime etc! (I never thought this would be how my life would be!0 I feel as though I am living a movie... somehow this all doesn't seem real! I can manage to keep going without face to face interactions! Does this feel real to anyone?!?!?
I find out how my friends are doing through youtube videos, text messages, and occasional phone calls! It is a good thing I have an amazing view to watch beautiful sunsets almost every night! It brings back the reality of God is real and he is helping us through this! |
I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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