As usual we have had a little bit of excitement here this past couple of weeks. (Isn't life fun! Especially in 2020! LOL) When I had to take mom into the hospital for an infection she had (it wasn't the blood clot we thought! Thank goodness!) The attending nurse made a mistake on the paperwork. He put that mom's oxygen level was 92% without oxygen instead of with oxygen. Because of this mistake Medicare said mom no longer needed oxygen and they would no longer pay for her to have oxygen! Yep! that is right! I didn't know that this mistake had been made on the paperwork and didn't understand why the oxygen company was threatening to take her oxygen way or we had to pay an outrageous amount of money to them. 2020 is a year of heightened anxiety for everyone and I am especially affected. My anxiety went off the charts with all the lovely physical manifestations that I do! (Yay! so fun for me... NOT!) I fought through the anxiety enough to get to the bottom of what was happening.... The hospital paperwork mistake! With the help of a lovely lady in the records office and a call to the hospital I had the solution!!! That sounds much simpler than it was! LOL (YAY ME!!! AND THANK YOU LADY IN THE RECORDS OFFICE!!!) The end result is that the paperwork was changed, mom did a test to prove she still needed oxygen instead of several tests that they wanted and she has a new company that supplies her oxygen equipment! Hopefully this company doesn't throw dire threats at us when something goes wrong... Because something always goes wrong! That's just life! Especially in 2020! Now for some exciting news! I am taking an Energy Healing class called Investigating Health and I am very encouraged by what I can do with only 4 weeks into the class. This is something I have wanted to do for a while and the opportunity presented itself so I jumped on it! As you all know I have had so many surgeries that I stopped keeping track. I was hoping that I would be one of those people that when they had the tumors removed they wouldn't come back but I am not. I tried the western way of medicine again and now I am going back to the alternative way of medicine. I am very encouraged so far! My brother rolls his eyes at me and that is okay. I don't see anything wrong with western medicine and have used it often. I just believe it isn't the only medicine available to us. I have a lot of T-Shirt Therapy today!!! I always can use a laugh!
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.Last night I went for a walk (Trying to lose that extra 2020 poundage!) and put on one of my podcast to keep me company while I walked. It is fall now and it gets dark earlier. There has also been construction on our street for a couple of months now so some sidewalks and roads are really messed up! The construction workers have taken down some of the street lights so it is even darker than normal in our neighborhood. Even though all these factors exist, I feel very safe in the neighborhood. I didn't think the dark would bother me... I had a flashlight after all!! I don't even walk outside of the neighborhood and know many of my neighbors. Everything was just fine...
I turned on one of my favorite podcasts Mens Rea and starting listening to the calm Irish voice. I did this with only one ear bud in so I could still be aware of my surroundings while I walked. (I am so safety conscious!!!) The episode that was next for me to listen to turned out to be about 3 young women that had been abducted while walking home!! (Wrong episode to listen to when walking in the dark! But did I change it to another episode... No!!!) I was getting a little nervous... but I was okay as I had a flashlight and was in my safe neighborhood; I told myself!! Then I noticed what I thought was a man! Of course I was in an area that there were no houses!!! He had a dog so that meant he was a nice man... Right?!? I was on a part of the road that had no street lights, and no houses, with a man in a hoodie walking towards me with a large sized dog!!! And to top it off my podcast is right in the part were it describes how the women were abducted!!! He walked past them and then attacked them from behind!!! Then he dragged them to his white van!!! (By the Way always stay away from white vans!!! I listen to enough true crime podcast that I can tell you that somehow there is always a white van involved in abductions!!!) The man in the hoodie said hello and another little pleasantry and continued on his walk. I listened for footsteps behind me to see if they were getting closer rather than further away! Okay, I was done!!! I walked as quickly as I could straight back for the house! (that isn't very fast unfortunately!) I decided that tomorrow I had to have a walking buddy, and walk when there is still some light to the day, carry a larger flashlight that can be used as a weapon, and make sure all the outside lights are on at the house so it is well lit as I run (looks like walking! LOL) for home!!! And I cannot listen to true crime podcasts while I walk! T-Shirt therapy- Stay away from white vans... You may not come back alive!!! I need to make that T shirt!!! I had to take mom to the emergency room the other night. It was thought that mom had a blood clot in her leg. Thank goodness it is an infection and not a blood clot! With the way the emergency rooms are set up now because of covid 19 it is a new kind of hell. I was at least allowed to stay with mom the whole time. We got there at 9:30pm and were there until 2:30am. (We were only there for a short time!) The next morning mom was very sick and just kept getting sicker. It was then that I starting reading the papers and realized that they had prescribed mom one of the antibiotics she is allergic too! Oops!! That is all fixed now! I have signed up for an energy healing class! My class starts on Friday! It is online and I will have a mentor! I have wanted to take this class for I believe a couple of years. I finally am able to learn to how to start healing myself and others. I have great anticipation for all that I can learn and do! It also will help me get through isolation days with set times to take the class. Another choice that I made and is really great for me even though I worry I won't be good enough. Then there are other problems and discoveries that are stressful (but then all of 2020 is stressful!!) and I find myself worrying or feeling sad. I recently had to face some truths that I had known existed it is just when they are said out loud it somehow seems way worse and is like a punch to the stomach hurtful. I have definitely learned over the years that I can handle way more than I ever dreamed that I could sometimes I just don't want to.... I believe that everything can be handled better with a good mystery series to stream and comfort food! (just don't let me order groceries late a night when it is a hard time! My mom and brother can tell you how bad of an idea that was!!! LOL Tshirt therapy! A lot of good things are happening in my life right now. There are a lot of changes happening in my life and when you have anxiety like I do, change, even good change is hard! I have been having a lot of anxiety even though the changes are good, some in the long run and some right now. I have had med changes lately and I even got to get off some of my meds! Hallelujah! This is also the infamous year of 2020 that is causing a lot of anxiety for everyone!
In therapy today we went back over how Anxiety isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is the way my body communicates to me that it isn't feeling safe with the changes. Who knew that bodies have a mind of their own!!! Not me!!! (Silly of me not to know, when I knew all about muscle memory and taught my students to use muscle memory as a skill!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!) Today as I talked in therapy I realized that I am okay with having anxiety. I have had it all my life, it is a part of me. Everyone is having a lot of anxiety during this time. I have a new Motto: Anxiety is okay to have it is a part of life;I just need to manage it so it doesn't keep me from my life! (Therapy is awesome!!! T-Shirt therapy is definitely awesome!!!) And I am still keeping my other motto... Tomorrow is another day! I am going to pay attention to my body, do my deep breathing, and talk to my body and let it know it is safe, I chose these changes, they are good changes, keep talking to my body! Keep praying for Jesus to help me find the tools I need to reaffirm to my body that it is safe! Remind my body that all the surgeries and medicines are to help my body to continue to be safe! T-Shirt Therapy - What I say to my body!!! LOL Yesterday was a pretty good day! We went for a motorbike ride (Miracles never cease I finally was able to get my helmut on and off all by myself! LOL) and had 2 person church in a park.I love having church outside! (Even if it is 100 degrees or more!) After the bike ride we cooked together and made chicken enchiladas! They are one of my favorite things I make!!! After this great day we still needed a travel fix! Since we can't travel right now, actually walks and motorcycle rides are the only traveling that is happening, so we have to get our fix through the TV! Ugh! Right now I am getting my travel fix through a show called Race Around the World! I absolutely love it! I envy all those who have campers currently! Like my sister that gets to travel and vacation on the weekends quite frequently!!!
T-Shirt therapy!!! I started to write my blog yesterday and never finished it. Here is what I wrote... So many changes are taking place in my life right now some are yuck and some are really good! The selling of my house has turned out to be a good thing. The stress of the maintenance of the home and yard when I wasn't living there was extremely high and now the worry is gone. I had some equity in my home and that has worked out nicely. I am in the process of getting my forever home and am really excited about it. Even though this 2020 year has brought crazy challenges we are navigating through it and I am finding that the beauty of the world right here around me is amazing! I read a short little article about Rick Steves (the travel guru) and how he is loving rediscovering the beauty of Edmonds, Wa where he lives. Well I am rediscovering the beauty of the Salt Lake Valley and the canyons that are on either side of me. God has made a beautiful world. And I had a 2 person church service up the canyon in the beauty. Oh yeah! I was feeling pretty angelic yesterday! Not so much today! Today I need to laugh at the unbelievable twilight zone that is 2020! So I am sticking with funny 2020 memes today! Tomorrow I will try for angelic again! Lately the temperature has been in the low 100s and 90s, and this is not the time to have your air conditioning quit working! (And it is all my fault!) Mom and I became so hot that, as mom puts it, we were hallucinating! This is gross, but we were total sweat balls!!! We had no energy!!! And were even a little emotional! I thought that the air conditioning just wasn't keeping up with the heat outside. I worried we would have to buy a new air conditioner!!! (No more expensive malfunctioning!) Mom called my brother about the air conditioning and he said that the thermostat will tell us what is wrong with the air conditioning. I went over to the thermostat to see what was wrong and I thought there was something flashing. I wasn't sure. I was wearing my new glasses so I should be able to see... Right?!?!? I went to go get the magnifying glass to see what was flashing. I was then frustrated with the thermostat for having the word flash! If it would just hold still maybe I could see it! Mom, Brett and John all decided it needed a new filter without even seeing the flashing word (that I couldn't read!). I went downstairs and got the filter out and it was black! So GROSS!!! Just taking care of the filter did not help with the problem. John came over and said there was probably an ice dam on the coils that was preventing the air conditioning from working... Sure enough there was! We had to go without air conditioning until it melted! Melting the ice dam only took a few hours but it felt like eternity!!! The air conditioning is now working and what does mom say to me??? I am cold!!! Summer in Utah! What can I say.... We just can't win! LOL
T-shirt Therapy! My house is sold... All the papers signed while I wore my mask and gloves! I have to keep my momma safe from covid! My daughter has moved to Logan and is all moved in. My son has moved to North Salt Lake and is all moved in! He is looking for room mates and that is all being done virtually!! Wow! I still manage to have a few dates through zoom, facetime etc! (I never thought this would be how my life would be!0 I feel as though I am living a movie... somehow this all doesn't seem real! I can manage to keep going without face to face interactions! Does this feel real to anyone?!?!?
I find out how my friends are doing through youtube videos, text messages, and occasional phone calls! It is a good thing I have an amazing view to watch beautiful sunsets almost every night! It brings back the reality of God is real and he is helping us through this! wild firI never thought I would see the day that there would be grocery shortages... We are suppose to be living the American dream not the covid 19 scary time! (We are living in the Twilight Zone!) The grocery shortage is causing me make a 30 year life style change!!!! I have always been a Diet Coke drinker! (I am addicted!!! LOL) I had to go to diet caffeine free coke a year or so back and I thought that was horrible but at least it was still Diet Coke!!! With the grocery shortages getting diet caffeine free coke is almost impossible! I told my mom that we might have to change our drink to Fresca or something like that! (This is a family addiction!!!) When I told her this, she said that she refuses to change her drink (her addiction is apparently worse than mine.... (HELP!!!) I don't think she has a choice in this... I went to the instacart app to order what I could of our grocery list and put Fresca into the search and the store was out of Fresca also!!! This is a truly horrible! I believe mom and I have entered into the abyss of HELL!!! Mom likened this time to the shortages of the great depression and WWII!!! She explained to me that no one should have to go through that hell twice in their lives! Well sorry, mom, we have entered that hell! She said at least during WWII people in the country banded together and here instead we have great strife. I tried to explain that we seem to be over achievers and are having wild fires in Australia, a pandemic, race riots, killer bees, the rise of wild life and now I hear fireballs are coming!!! We still have 5 months of this year! The loss of my signature drink along with all the rest... Can we live through the rest of this year?!?!?! I definitely need T-Shirt Therapy!!! And some YouTube fun (Language Warning) The joys of selling my house! I have spent the morning on the phone and online taking care of the cable (for mom), insurance company and all the other companies that need to be called! I never realized all this was so time consuming! I have lived in that house for 14 years and I don't remember it taking so long to get everything taken care of when I moved in!
I have mixed feelings about selling my home.... My home was a sanctuary! When I walked into it, the house seemed to say, "welcome, you are home!" It was my sanctuary for a long time. That is what a home should be! It should be a sanctuary! And just recently it no longer was a sanctuary and the last incident that happened in my home was domestic violence! My daughter's friend and boyfriend were over visiting and all of a sudden a fight broke out that became physical! (My grand daughters weren't there thank goodness!) That totally took away my last feelings that the home was a sanctuary! That incident ended in one of my huge windows broken and the very last bit of sentiment was gone. I am sad that my home can no longer fit that need for me. I thought that was going to be my forever home. I am starting a whole new adventure in my life! New adventures are always a little scary at first so I have a little anxiety over it, but I think I will find my new adventure to be one of sanctuary and love and this time be a forever adventure! |
I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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