Today, well actually the past few days have been sad for me. There was an anniversary of the death of a loved one and a loss of another tonight. Now when I feel so sad I could easily start cutting. I have been told that cutting is a release and being in control of something when I feel that I have no control. It is also an anniversary for my mother, it is her wedding anniversary., she misses my dad very much.
I have learned the mindfulness methods as many people that deal with mental illness like me. I can't meditate in the traditional way. Because I believe in my Savior, Jesus Christ, I put on Christian music and I lose myself in the music for as long as I can. My brother doesn't have my same belief as I do and he meditates. We both believe there is life after death and that belief gives us something to hang onto. Whatever your beliefs let them help you through the rough times. I keep my hands busy when I want to cut with crocheting, drawing, painting anything that has a product that doesn't take too long. If you don't have something that you like to do that keeps your hands busy it would be good to find something there are a lot of things you can do that don't involve sharp objects. I have learned that it is okay to cry. I was always afraid if I started crying I would never stop. I also believed that crying was showing that I was weak. It isn't a sign of weakness. It is a release and you can stop crying after you start. Getting a blog or a journal or both helps to release some of the pain as well. It keeps you focused on your feelings without hurting yourself. I journal and now blog. I write the good and the bad and what I have overcome with only rare lapses. No one is perfect so don't worry if you lapse! Remember my favorite saying,,, Tomorrow is another day. Everyday is the next beginning. It is okay to use humor to help you get through these times. These are the things that work for me. Take what you can from me and add to it. Find your way to keep from cutting and getting into an overwhelming depression.
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I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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