I was talking to a couple of friends the other day and we were talking about our anxiety levels, and one of my friends said I remember you use to blog to help you deal with your anxiety. I did use to blog to help deal with my anxiety so why aren't I blogging?!?!
I am back to blogging! I have actually had some really wonderful hoorays in my life lately that have lightened my load and my heart! It seems as if all my baby chicks have grown up and our out living on their own and thriving! Even in this crazy world! I have also had some real scares! So here is the update with my family... First the Hoorays! My son, Matthew, bought a condo and is renting out 2 bedrooms so that almost all costs are mitigated! I am so happy for him! My daughter Danielle has moved into a condo that she is very happy about and has a job that she seems to be pleased with! I am going to miss my sweet baby girls that of coursed moved with their mama! Danielle has moved close to her brother so she still has family around! My son and daughter in law that she has moved close to are expecting another baby! That makes 12 grand kids for me!!! Yay!!! That son, Jonathan, recently moved to that area and have a lovely new home! (When I get to go visit them covid permitting I will be able to see 9 of my grand kids at once! My son, Tom, and his wonderful family, my daughter Megan and her wonderful family, and my baby Michael are all doing great! Woo Hoo!!! Now the stressful and scary news that is turning out okay... My son Bob has covid 19! This news scared me to death especially the fact that he was having to use everything he had in him to get his breath! My sister took him Xlear (everyone should have this as it mitigates the symptoms!!!) and it has greatly relieved his symptoms! Bob immediately quarantined himself to the guest bedroom so that he didn't infect his wife, Dawn, who has diabetes. If she had gotten it, this would have been very bad! (Dawn unfortunately had her birthday in quarantine! Dang!) They are both doing okay!!! I love them both and the thought of the potential consequences of having covid 19 scared me to death!!! I was in the process of selling my house... Quite the experience when in quarantine!!! My house is under contract in record time and everything has turned out really well so far! (Thank you Sean!!!) Lastly, there is construction on our street and the other day the construction was right in front of our house with a very large hole in the road about 6 feet deep. We knew our water was going to be turned off for a few hours and had prepared for this. The construction workers accidentally hit the power lines and the power went out. Normally this would just be and inconvenience; however, mom is on oxygen so without power her concentrator does not work! I switched mom over to her battery powered portable concentrator that has 6 to 8 hours of battery power. When the battery was down to 18% power I was getting very concerned... I called the power company and ended up speaking to someone that was rude and really didn't get the scope of the problem. With the hole in front of the house and the fact mom has to stay in isolation made in my mind an insurmountable problem for getting mom to power to run her concentrator. As I explained this to the customer service rep. she told me rudely that this way my problem not the power companies but mine and I should have prepared for it! I tried to explain again and the answer I got was that the workers wanted to be able to leave and go home just as much as I did! WHAT?!?!? I lost it at that point and unfortunately yelled at her that she didn't get the situation at all and I might have used a swear word or 2 and asked her to get her supervisor... It is amazing how when the supervisor got on the line and I explained the situation she immediately got a hold of the dispatcher and came up with ways to get mom out of the house with a steel plate being put down over the hole etc... Thank goodness it didn't come to that as mom called our neighbor and they had a generator that they brought over!!!! Hooray!!! the day was saved!!! And other than losing it on the phone for a second I held it together and had mom taken care of through the whole ordeal!!! YAY!!! We are definitely living in a stressful world right now and this anxiety girl isn't doing so bad!!! I think that having to be in quarantine and not face to face with a lot of the problems has actually been a blessing for me! Hang in there everyone and give each other a little extra love1
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As Isolation continues I am trying to figure out how to go on a vacation that isn't to the living room, utility room, office or front or back porch... My sister bought a camper just in time for all of this social distancing to begin. She has gone camping twice now and doesn't have to worry about being exposed to corona virus as they are the only ones that use the camper and they keep their distance from others. At the time that she bought it, I thought it was nice but expensive. Now having a camper puts those people in the elite population that can actually vacation outside their home!!! I have family and friends that have campers and I am a little envious! Another wonderful idea for entertainment this summer is to have a projector that can be shown in the yard on the wall of the house or something! Movies under the stars!!! Make circles on the lawn 6 ft apart and invite the neighbors! Make sure you go to the bathroom before you go since using peoples bathrooms is one of the most dangerous things that you can do. Woo Hoo for movies under the stars! I wonder how much a projector costs??? And of course use T-Shirt Therapy to announce your mood and funny thoughts! Laugh on! and do what you can to help each other! Technology is a wonderful thing. I have facetimed with some of my grandkids and have done zoom meetings, however; that does not fill the need of loving on those cute grand kids! Although, I still got a reaction out of Cinch when I blew him a kiss! LOL He ran away so the kiss wouldn't get him!!! And his sister, Riatta, loved informing him it was too late, grandma already blew the kiss! (Sisters are such fun!) I am not the most touchy feely person, no one in my family is. As I watched other families hugging and giving kisses I realized that my family's way, of almost never showing affection probably wasn't the best way. I made it a goal to hug and kiss and tell my family I love them! I am getting better at it!
When my granddaughter's came over for mother's day it was hard having them 6 ft away! I wanted to hug and kiss them all, even the almost 13 year old! With all this isolation and stay at home orders, life has not been nearly as exciting! I haven't been able to travel and encounter strange and scary animals trying to get into attics... No excitement with the neighbors... No wild and crazy sleepovers with the grand kids... Life has been too tame! (Remind me that I said this, when I can do those things again, and am getting a little grumpy because I am feeling tired!!!!) Life in isolation for 3 months has me almost ready for this T-Shirt therapy!!! LOL There is Nothing like being in your 50s and rooming with your brother and mom! I think we are doing really well staying adults and not reverting to our childhood years! Let me tell you just how well we are doing with that!!!
My mom and we having a discussion about how a box of her oxygen tubes were accidentally thrown away. Kent came hurrying down the hall to proclaim, "It wasn't me!" LOL We didn't think it was him... Only because it happened before he arrived! Mom HATES the way I do the grocery shopping and put my brother in charge of ordering the groceries! I was good with that until the first order came! Being in lockdown has my anxiety heightened (that is my excuse for what happened! HAHA!) I started to hyperventilate just for a moment! LOL I breathed through it and got myself under control and did some self talking that he just wasn't use to buying for more than one person. I gave input on the next order. I then had to try and use my inside voice (I don't think I have an inside voice... I am just loud!) and tell him, "what the heck is up with the groceries! We don't have enough! You need to buy by the case and then you always have a good supply!" Kent replied, "Allison, your hoarder tendencies from living 85 miles from the nearest grocery store are coming out." (He actually did use his inside voice! HAHAHAHA!) We have compromised! So the other day as we were chatting in the kitchen and really laughing about the way we did things and grew up. We have come to learn that every family is dysfunctional just in different ways and to different degrees, however; we are okay with how we grew up. We found some humor in our upbringing and compared ourselves to other families... We like how we grew up better! LOL And then we discussed how I was as a teenager... My memories definitely differed from his! I wasn't quite the sweet angel child that I thought I was! LOL (I know all of you find that hard to believe that actually I was a handful as a teenager!) Here in Utah Spring is a little behind where some of my other relatives live, however; spring is finally here!!! There is green everywhere! The world is green!! Spring brings hope to my heart! It is no longer April. April is a hard month for me a lot of hard things have unfortunately happened in April.There were a lot of great things that happened in April as well. I think everyone has the same idea to go camping to have a getaway... The state parks are only letting so many people into them so I think that I might be doing my camping in the backyard! Too bad I don't have a trampoline anymore, I use to "camp" out on the tramp with my kids! I can relive those days! LOL So everyone that gets turned away from the state parks we an all join together camping in the backyard! LOL See you there! My birthday is coming up and my son asked me what he could get me. I told him he didn't need to get anything but he persisted. I told him an apple gift card. Today I was asked why would I want an apple gift card. I told John he wasn't going to like the answer... It is for my game. His head dropped and he looked at me like I had grown horns on my head. I told him No Judging!!! I have been in isolation for 7 weeks!!! So yes I am playing a game and we are in a fashion house and we win! In fact my daughter asked if she could be in the same house as me. I don't know how my world is going to change when we learn how to navigate pandemics. Hopefully we aren't caught again as unprepared as we were this time! So in the middle of the night when I can't shut down my anxiety, I might be playing my game!
Some T-Shirt humor to go with my anxiety nights when I am not sleeping! Friday ended up being a very grumpy day (Yes! Another one!) And going with my motto for tomorrow is another day, I decided that I would go to bed and start over tomorrow! There was just one problem with that theory... My usual bedtime is not 7:30 pm. I went to sleep really well and when I woke up about midnight that just didn't work for Tomorrow is Another Day! Yes, it was the next day. No one was awake except me... or so I thought! then out of the blue my friend Kari text messages me! We text messaged back and forth for a couple of hours and then she told me that she couldn't stay up any longer. That was okay because I was almost ready to go back to sleep! (Another 2 hours later! hahaha!) Today was definitely another day and I am going to continue with that motto until I get it right!!! If you are awake in the middle of the night just text message me... You never know, I might be awake!
My allergies are so bad and my eyes are just crying away! Because it is hard for me to see I have been speaking my text messages to Siri... and in doing so my text messages turn out really crazy! Today for a joke I sang my text messages to Siri and was waiting for just how bizarre they were going to turn out! Here is what I found... Siri understands when I sing SOOOO much better then when a speak! LOL Since I love to sing silly little goofy songs that I make up my own words to this could be a good thing!!!! Singing to Siri!!! I think I might be texting a little more today! LOL I am not quite as grumpy today as I was yesterday! WooHoo!!! Music makes the world go round! And helps us Kung Fu Fight the grumpies away! It is spring time and "all the world is green" (A little bit of a song from my childhood!) and with that green comes pollen and with that comes allergies!!! My eyes, nose, ears... everything ITCHES! and RUNS! We need to sign a petition for removal of all allergies! (There seems to be a petition for everything else!) Oh my gosh I am grumpy today! Fair warning is going out. It is probably not the best day to be my friend! LOL I went online to do a little shopping... That should help except that everyone has already purchased what I wanted! All I see is out of stock, and back ordered! SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!! You are adding to my grumpiness! I definitely need t-Shirt therapy to help me get out of this mood! I am getting my cricut machine up and going! I am going to be making those T-Shirts so I can get my laughing happy mood back! Wish me luck on learning how to do all this! Okay this t-shirt made me laugh! I was a teacher for many years and there were times like days and weeks before Christmas or other times when the students had so much energy and the focus of the energy was not centered on what would help them the most at the time, that we would tease about medicating them. The joke was having a mist of spray of meds that would help to calm them down as they walked through the door. When I heard about the people that blocked all the roads to the hospital because they wanted business opened back up, after first being horrified, my second thought was maybe we should medicate them all with my anxiety meds! LOL That was some pretty ridiculous thinking, putting other people's lives of not being able to get to the care they needed. That is what anxiety does, alters the logic in people's thinking. (Maybe we should medicate everyone with anti anxiety meds. LOL (People acting like that gives me anxiety and then round and round we go! Oh, round and round we go! I am singing that! LOL) As lives of loved one are being affected with this covid19 and other diseases my anxiety spikes! So it is time for some T-shirt Therapy to bring my spirits up! Super powers, the cat in the hat, and whatever else me need to smile in even laugh in these hard times! |
I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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