I was talking to my friend, Janna, today and trying to get the update on her kidney failure. Since she has found out about her kidney failure she has had 2 offers of kidneys, One from her sister and one from her brother, Mike. Janna told Mike that it might be her turn to die and she could go be with Jesus and her daughter, Karinna. Mike told her that wasn't happening. Janna told him that he didn't have a say. Mike informed her that he talks to God everyday so he thinks he can tell him. LOL I told Janna I talk to God several times a day and that counts.... I told her that when I was testifying of Christ I had said that I talk to God all the time and we are finding out how to heal me and nobody seemed to understand. She told me that people just don't get how I talk and my sense of humor! What?!?!?!? How is that possible!!!
So here is a little explanation of who I am and hopefully people will get me a little better! I recently told people I no longer do cleaning therapy, I now do blog therapy. Everyone was looking at me with a blank stare. I have anxiety as you all know and night time is the absolutely worst time for my anxiety. In the night when my anxiety would hit and I could feel a panic attack coming on I would get out of bed and start putting all that energy to work! I would have my mind racing all around and I would vacuum the stairs, put in a load of laundry in the wash. scrub down cupboards and then after about an hour or 2 of doing this I would be starting to come down in anxiety and I might be able to go to sleep. (That is why my daughter Megan told me I could not do cleaning therapy past her curfew time! Lol her room was right next to the utility room and vacuuming could be heard clear through the house!) With all of my health problems and surgeries I couldn't do cleaning therapy anymore. When anxiety hits it comes with a ton of energy and without cleaning therapy to help me work some of the anxiety out I reverted to cutting. I remember cutting when I was a 10 year old girl, so I know I have had anxiety for forever. I have also used humor to get through life. And now I use blogging therapy. I am taking part of what I am feeling and putting it into words and getting some of the anxiety out of me. If you notice I have a ton of posts in one day then I am probably having an anxiety day or a laugh I just can't keep to my self! I have had 4 surgeries in less than a year with 2 of them major surgeries. My doctor has said that my body has gone into a wee bit of shock. It needs lots of rest so it can mend. My body and my soul need to be able to laugh, become closer to my Savior, and learn to love, accept, forgive, repent, serve, and be selfless as much as possible! So I do talk to God several times a day and we are finding ways to heal me and let me thrive. I do blogging therapy, I have a sense of humor that apparently not everyone gets, and I love mysteries even murder mysteries! (It might be because I have a family line of judges, attorneys, lawmen, and thieves! Memories in family history are awesome!!! Oh and I love science! Who would have thought because I refused to dissect the frog in 10th grade. I have to say that working with cadavers is totally different than those yucky frogs! And I prefer to deal with live people more so than the dead!) Okay I have probably totally grossed people out! Sorry! I found a T-shirt that sums me up really well! It's an Allison thing... You wouldn't understand! I love blogging and T-shirt therapy and I am hoping that my blogging is help others as well as helping me!
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I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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