Last night in my healing and thriving process I hit a few stumbling blocks. The problem with running into the stumbling blocks with evening and night stretching out in front of me just isn't a good combination.... As you can imagine I haven't gone to sleep as I try and work things through a million scenarios!!! (and of course it was a million because I never exaggerate at all!!!) I have been processing most of the night!!! I use to call it spiraling, because it use to be my thoughts were spiraling out of control. Last night and this early morning I am keeping the spiral part under check!!! I can even prove that because I haven't had to throw up or going into a coughing fit. (Unfortunately that is how my body immediately reacts to stress!!! Hopefully your don't have those symptoms because they are just plain annoying!!! (My body and I are going to have another heart to heart to get this worked right out!!!)
Jesus and I have a lot of heart to hearts as well and especially the past 3 years. Jesus knows me so well that he knows how my anxiety works in a way I can't even comprehend!!! He knows that I have to have warning that something in my life is going to change in a big way! When I am reading God's word there are different scriptures that jump out at me or a conversation happens and God uses that person to get the message to me. (This is one of his favorite ways to talk to me!) And depending on what is coming up he will give me months in advance of the event happening!!! I am warned and I have a panic and then I convince myself that it isn't going to happen.... and this cycle keeps going through!!! I get a little bit of my panicking done several time before the event arrives!!! Well today was the day that the event arrived, or the beginning of the event!!! I need to find a good t-shirt for this so I can laugh with my T-Shirt therapy! When I was mapping out my life as a young girl this sure isn't what I had in mind! LOL What happen to that life plan??? When did I jump that track on that one??? Too late now to do anything about all I can do is go forward and find a track that fits the right speed and obstacles to get where I am trying to go!!! Wow!!! Oh Wow!!! You know I use my blog to help keep down the anxiety so you will definitely have to be my listening ears as I figure these stumbling blocks out!!!
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I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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