Yesterday I thought I was starting to feel much better and asked my cousin's to come for a late over! Later in the day my stitches started pulling and I felt a little worse, I was wondering if it was a bad decision to ask them to come over. I kept to the plan of a late over and had fun. We had dinner and chatted for a bit and then my cousins sang music that had been written by their mother and by one of them. It was beautiful and uplifting.
It is so ama
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My son sends my his journal entries and video chats with me. He is deployed so I really look forward to both of the communications! My son's journal entries are recordings he makes onto his computer and then shares with the family. I love this way of communicating, because it helps me fell more a part of his life. I can hear the tone in his voice and see his handsome face!
I was listening to several of his journal entries (he sends a week or 2 for us to hear at a time) and on one of the entries he stated ,we are under fire so I have to go!!!!! ..........What?!?!?!? He is under fire so he has to go!!! And he sent this to me his mom!!!!! His mom that he knows has anxiety issues!!!! Since there were journal enteries after that one, it did help somewhat to bring down my anxiety because at least he was still alive!!! When he video chatted with me today and we talked about things going on here,(he loves hearing about home) and a little poetic justice happened! I moved the phone from one hand to the other and was putting some things on the table, my wonderful army son was alarmed to see the bruising and stitches on my arm1 He wanted to know who and how I was hurt!! :) HaHa he felt a little bit of what I felt when he said he was under fire! ! I told him it is where one of my tumors was taken out! Here was my perfect opportunity to get on his case of his comment about "we are taking fire"! I asked him how he felt when he thought someone had hurt me! I told him now magnify that by a thousand and you will understand how a mother feels when she hears her son saying he was under fire!!!! He said, mom, I told you it was no big deal and it really wasn't. I told him I didn't care. When you are going to send a journal entry like that as soon as you can you need to video call your mama!!! Especially a mama that has a panic disorder!!!! A child that is on deployment should never say that they are under fire to the worried family at home!!!! Today my friend called me and said that she liked reading my blog... even when it is hard figure it out. Hard to figure out because of misspelled words, typos, and just my head running faster than my fingers can keep up! uoops! l guess I am going to start to at least read them over at least once before i post! I promise that I will try, I use to :)
okay hope this one is at least better I paid better attention to the screen this times!!! Last night I went to the emergency department. I didn't think I needed to go to the emergency department. I thought this is how other people felt after have surgeries like this. Boy was I wrong!!!!
The nurses, and doctors were very impressed with the suture lines that the Dr that was able to get out my tumors! They told me they heal very nicely considering how big they were? In fact I think there were a few people that came in to see the sutures that weren't treating me . When mom told the medical people that the tumor was just over a liter in size they all had to see it. I apparently was directed by the Lord to even find the doctor! They wanted to see all of the sutures and was getting a little grumpy about about everyone coming over to see the sutures! Finally a nurse and doctor arrived that were actually treating me as a patient not a show and tell object!!! I HAVE PNEUMONIA! No wonder I felt crappy and run down. They gave me a IV of antibiotics and 2 pills! It is amazing how good I feel! The doctor told me it would take a little bit ti get rid of the shortness of breath!!!! I have proclaimed that this year is my year to thrive, Everyone has heard it and is helping me to to accomplish this goal. I know the Lord as heard me! Thank you all for concern and for your helping my daughter, mother and myself! As many of you know I had surgery yesterday to remove some of my tumors. My daughter Megan (one of my twins) has said that she doesn't want to hear about how the twins had spilt my muscles apart. Funny Megan! The doctor took the tumors out of my arms the largest one being in my left arm. My left arm oozed and was gross but doing much better today!
When I went to the doctor today I received fantastic news!! I can take a shower!!! WooHoo! nothing is better tan a shower. My son that is deployed called me today because he had good news. I am getting to knew a hew people see and they seem really nice. I love getting to know family in he sacramento area! I miss my kids and grand kid L( The Doctor has given me pain and muscle relaxants. I think the muscle relaxant works the best. I just keep thinking a shower tomorrow I won't smell like medicine, blood and A doctors office! I couldn't be happier!!!! The Doctor said the operation went really well! I have a really high tolerance so of course I got cussed out by the doctor. I was dripping blood every! The doctor sad that there was a larger tumor there then other areas. They had to do ways more. Becaj\use hat there would defiiitely be more ozzying Iam signing of for know I am su;;er slee
Surgery tomorrow and I was doing pretty good during the day today getting ready. Well I thought I was doing well and I actually wasn't doing as well as I thought! Nothing is staying in my hands. I am dropping everything and my hands keep shaking. I am tripping over more objects and small children than I usually do! lol No one get to close to me it is a little dangerous!!! My mind is obviously not focusing on anything most likely to keep the fears of the surgery out of my head! Like I said better to steer clear of me I am a maniac right now. I am dropping thing and breaking them! Help I think I need some prayers!
I wonder if stuffing all my feelings and fears is how I was lucky enough to get all these tumors to begin with! I just want to thank everyone for the prayers, blessings, good thoughts, good energy that you are sending my way for tomorrow. You are helping me so much! You are helping me feel peaceful and to know that this is the right choice. This will help me thrive! Tomorrow is surgery day and am I thinking about the surgery... NOPE! I instead have a million made up songs going through my head! Today I am remembering when I use to walk the sheep and pretend to walk the steers! I am remembering waking my kids up in the morning to do chores or getting ready for school! If any of you have ever seen the movie Big with Tom Hanks, in the beginning the 2 younger boys are singing a song and there is a part in the song where they say my mother says... I of course have no idea what comes next in the song. One day my oldest was 9 and my second son was 7 and we were walking the 4H sheep. I was singing my own version of the song from big and sang my mother says to drag Tommy! The lamb took off immediately after my saying that dragging Tom behind him! I yelled to him let go! Let go! I think still to this day he thinks that the lamb understood what I said and knew that he was Tommy! I use to wake my kids up to the music of an orange juice commercial(below) My words were: Good morning, good morning, life's great with kellogg's flakes good morning, good morning to you! or my other version Good morning, good morning, life's sweet with kelloggs treats, Good morning, good morning to you! I also sang the military Reveille! Like my mother use to sing to us! I have always made up my own words to songs and so have other members of my family! There are several songs that when I hear them it is hard for me to not hear the other version in my head and not laugh! I love singing commercial songs especially my own version of them. That is probably why I like the movie Demolition Man! I can get the smile off my face today with all those songs going through my head. Watch the commercial so you can have all the commercial songs running through your head too!
Since arriving here in the Sacramento area and once the oxygen equipment was straightened out I have watch my mom to start coming back to her old self! There is definitely more oxygen in the air here and mom is thriving! She has been able to get around more and has been more coherent and her usual fun and witty self. She even stated to me herself that she feels better here. She doesn't want to leave her family and friends in the Salt Lake area. I totally understand how she feels, as I would miss greatly my friends and family as well. I love and enjoy my kids and grandkids! I am sure whatever is to happen the Lord will let us know.
In 2 days is the beginning of getting rid of the tumors and get my own health back as much as possible. I am afraid and excited to see and feel the results! The doctor and his nurses, PA, and receptionist are all friendly and supportive! And explain everything so I don't feel like i and going into the dark abyss! Since I have a history now of clotting after surgery I get to give myself shots to keep me from clotting again. I like it much better when I bounced right back after surgery. Maybe it is the sheer volume of surgeries that has slowed me down! I know that I am going to spring back from this surgery! I am going to thrive!!! I am so thankful this and for my family here that is willing to let me stay here and help with my recovery! Hanging out with my friends last night for dinner was so fun and they were caring, even when I accidently knocked my shoe in the pool and lost my car key! lol That is the usual me! I hate to admit this, however, I have been talking on my cell phone while trying to find said cell phone in my purse etc! Oh my gosh! It is the ADHD! I have been thinking about getting a vanity plate on my beautiful amazing car! I think Thrive would be a great license plate! |
I am Ally. I am the center of my universe and I can determine whether to be a victim, survivor or thriver. At one time or another I have been all of the above... I am choosing to thrive!
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